Many of the amazing women I coach love the idea of loving the skin they’re in, but they wonder whether they can learn to love their body, but still want to change it.
I’ve spent some time reflecting on this, and it seems to me like people assume that in order to love yourself, you have to love all of yourself all of the time, and you’re never allowed to have a moment where you’re not 100% happy with any part of your body.
I guess this ties into another question I get asked a lot: if someone really loves the skin they’re in, why do they still dye their hair, wear makeup, or try to alter their physical appearance to make themselves appear ‘more attractive’?
Well, I think I have the answer!
It is completely and absolutely possible to love yourself, be comfortable in the skin you’re in, AND still want to work towards changing yourself.
You see, there’s a pretty big misconception about self-love out there: people wrongly believe that self-love is simply a case of loving yourself, accepting yourself, and just sort of giving up on yourself.
But when you get to the point where you love your body, you learn you embrace yourself no matter what.
Our bodies are constantly changing. There are times when we may lose or gain weight. There are times when we look (and feel!) tired or are absolutely glowing. We might go through a stage of being super fit, and then not so fit, and the way we look and feel about ourselves develops over time.
Embracing self-love isn’t a static thing fixed in any given time or a specific point in our physical appearance. Just because something changes from that, it doesn’t mean we can’t continue to love ourselves.
It might seem contradictory that a person can love themselves and also want to alter their appearance, but it really isn’t. It just comes down to freedom of choice, and recognising what feels good for you.
If the choices you make are based on what you want, and aren’t motivated by the pressures of what society is telling you, then you can do whatever the hell you want!
If you make the choice to wear make up, change your hair, or change your body based entirely on what you want, then it doesn’t mean you don’t love the skin you’re in. It’s just a way of trying out different ways to express yourself!
Life isn’t simple. Choices and decisions are not black or white, and we humans are very complicated creatures who all think and feel differently. What self-love means for one person, may be the complete opposite to what it means for someone else. Neither is more right or valid than the other. We all approach things in different ways.
You just have to remember that your ability to love the skin you’re in is not dependent on what it looks like that day, but comes down to how you feel about yourself in general. Make a decision to love yourself through the thick and thin, no matter what, and everything else will slot into place.
Are these feelings you can relate to?
I work with women one-on-one to help them learn to love the skin they’re in, no matter what.
If you’d like to learn more about my coaching, do get in touch by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org, and lets see if we can get you feeling happier, healthier and more positive!